


Meow says the lil' shit

by BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse



Series: Animals are cute [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Cat!Kaner, Cat!Tazer, F/M, Gen, Kaner is a little shit, Kitty cats, M/M, Separation Anxiety, They wanna be together 5ever, adorableness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 13:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse/pseuds/BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Misery and war comes upon the Sharp house when the new cat, a brown tabby named Tazer, finally comes to stay for the month. Patrick has never seen any one, animal and human alike, resist Kaner's charms like Tazer has. Patrick has watched Kaner pull all the stops, watched him try and butter Tazer up. Madelyn finds it hilarious and often shares stories with her friends about what Kaner did that day. Patrick's worried Kaner might cross a line and the next thing they know, Tazer's chomping on the tiny cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meow says the lil' shit

Patrick loves his family. He does. So when his daughter asks him to get a pet cat, he can hardly refuse. He tries not to think about the pound they went to; the one where three cats pee on him. He hasn't talked to their neighbor Wilson since going to see his new litter of kittens, only to have one rip out some of his hair. He doesn't even talk to Duncs, whose friend had a cat they needed to get rid of. Patrick still has nightmares of that beast. It would figure that Patrick would be leaving the UC when he hears something around the corner. Low and behold, there's a sandy colored kitten, maybe a little older, knocking a pebble against the outside of the Center. The kitten is hopping around, obviously excited that the pebble keeps coming back. The kitten makes a hard whack at the pebble, only to have it come springing back right at him. The kitten ducks with a squeak and the pebble goes sailing right over him. Patrick watches the kitten's head turn to watch the pebble go and as soon as he sees those blue eyes, he knows he's gone.

It doesn't take much effort to get close to the kitten. The kitten seems happy to sit in one spot and let Patrick come closer. The kitten lets Patrick pick it up, making soothing noises. Patrick checks the gender, sees that it's a boy, and coos at it. The kitten makes the most adorable sound Patrick has ever heard and head butts Patrick's hand. He's about to pet the kitten when it sneezes right in his face. Patrick blinks and the kitten copies him.

"You little shit," Patrick says.

The kitten just blinks.

**~+~**

It takes some maneuvering to get Abby and Madelyn out of the house without letting them know why. He has to hide the kitten in his car, windows cracked, so neither of his girls see him. Once their gone, going to the park then getting ice cream, he brings the kitten inside. He heads to the bathroom, kitten struggling to get at his hair, and sets him down in the sink. The kitten blinks innocently up at him and Patrick almost feels guilty. Almost, because when Patrick turns on the sink and water comes out, the kitten loses it's fucking mind. He lets out a shriek, something so loud and high-pitched Patrick thinks he might be about deaf, and tries to scramble out of the sink. Patrick gets the cat in the sink long enough to scrub him down with shampoo and conditioner he had borrowed from Wilson and he gets to rinse him off without getting killed by the kitten's sharp, pointy teeth, before the kitten finally scrambles out of the sink, shivering.

"Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad," Patrick says, grabbing a small hand towel.

The kitten glares at Patrick and before he can stop him, the kitten starts to shake himself off, little droplets hitting Patrick and making him sputter.

"You're a dick," Patrick states, happy that the kitten isn't larger.

The kitten seems to grin at him as he mews up at Patrick.

"You look like a drowned rat," Patrick replies, taking the hand towel to finish drying the kitten off.

The kitten just mews in reply.

He puts the collar on the kitten without much of a struggle and lets the kitten explore the living room when Abby and Madelyn gets back. He's kissing Abby when Madelyn let's out a happy laugh. He lets a smile cover his face when he sees the kitten in Madelyn's arms, licking her nose.

"He's adorable," Abby says, hugging his arm.

"Isn't he?"

"What are you going to name him, Madelyn?" Abby asks.

Madelyn grins and giggles, putting the kitten on the floor so it can jump at her untied shoe laces.

"I'm gonna call him, Kaner," she replies, pulling at her shoe slightly so Kaner will jump after it.

And that's how Kaner came into their lives.

**~+~**

It's been well over three years since they'd gotten Kaner and Madelyn had just turned eight when Seabs asks him for a favor.

"So, you have Kaner and all, which means you're able to take care of a cat and Keith was stupid and got one, but it apparently doesn't like him and the person who promised to take him won't be able to for a month and do you think he could stay with you until his new owner gets him?" Seabs asks in one breath.

Patrick laughs and nods. "Sure. Kaner gets along with all the cats on the block. I'm sure this won't be any different."

Except it is.

Misery and war comes upon the Sharp house when the new cat, a brown tabby named Tazer, finally comes to stay for the month. Patrick has never seen any one, animal and human alike, resist Kaner's charms like Tazer has. Patrick has watched Kaner pull all the stops, watched him try and butter Tazer up. Madelyn finds it hilarious and often shares stories with her friends about what Kaner did that day. Patrick's worried Kaner might cross a line and the next thing they know, Tazer's chomping on the tiny cat.

So it comes as a surprise that, three days until Tazer leaves, he stumbles upon Tazer cleaning a sleeping Kaner. He tenses up and stops minutely when Patrick comes into the room, blurry eyed and in need of coffee, but he continues on when all Patrick does it stare. Patrick has enough wits to him to take a picture and mockingly coo at the two before getting a cup of coffee.

By the time Abby has Madelyn rushing down the stairs, the two cats have moved to the living room window and are lazing against each other in the sunny spot. Madelyn cheers around her toast and Abby just laughs.

The next two days are full of Kaner and Tazer never leaving each other's sides. Patrick almost choked when he noticed Tazer using the litter box and Kaner waiting patiently outside of the bathroom, where the box was located. Patrick continues to find them in increasingly cute and ridiculous spots and he's pretty sure he's never mockingly cooed so much that it turned into real cooing. All of the happiness at the two finally getting along is shattered when the doorbell rings and a Mr. Toews is there to pick up Tazer.

After Patrick let him in, it takes a good half hour to find Tazer and Kaner, who somehow got in the top kitchen cabinets. Once Mr. Toews gets Tazer out of the house, spitting and hissing, Kaner just flops in front of the door and meows pathetically.

"Come on, Kaner. I'll get you a treat," Patrick says, shaking the treat bottle.

Kaner doesn't move, doesn't even twitch. He just continues to stare longingly at the door.

This continues for over a week, Kaner being depressed. Patrick even took him to the vet, who told him that he just misses Tazer. Patrick figures he should be surprised since Tazer hadn't even liked Patrick until the end of his stay with them, but Kaner had never tried that hard to get another animal to like him. Kaner barely eats or drinks from his food bowls. He just either sits in front of the door or continues to climb and somehow get into the cabinet that Patrick had found Kaner and Tazer in. They became so used to Kaner sitting in the cabinet that Abby didn't even bother to half heartedly try and put anything in it. She put a small blanket in it and they all know to leave it open a crack, so Kaner won't have to struggle as much to get into it.

They're all seriously considering getting Kaner help when he goes completely nuts. Patrick has never seen a cat run in circles before. Kaner practically attacks the door right before the bell rings. Patrick has to get Madelyn to drag Kaner away before he can even open the door. He's surprised to see Mr. Toews and Tazer, whose struggling in his arms. The man just lets Tazer drop when he finally pops free and both cats are on each other in half a second.

"You see, my wife and I are having some troubles taking care of Tazer," Mr. Toews says coughing.

Patrick raises an eyebrow before it clicks. He shifts and asks, "Are you?"

Mr. Toews smiles and replies, "Yes. So, do you think you'd be able to take Tazer for us?"

Patrick turns to watch Tazer and Kaner rubbing against each other, every once in a while one of them will meow before they butt heads and start the process over again.

"I think we can do that," Patrick says with a grin.

Once they bring all of Tazer's things into the house and Mr. Toews is on his way home, Patrick and Abby curl up on the couch to watch Kaner and Tazer chase Madelyn around the room.

Yeah, Patrick thinks. He loves his family.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I think Tazer would look like: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRD5k7PleDBRHTOeIn_LB2wzWOFkE4PYv3QWenjkg3BRClNzosm  
> And Kaner (except with blue eyes): http://www.wallibs.com/gudang/lounge-orange-cat-cute.jpg
> 
> KITTY CATTSS
> 
> (pictures aren't mine)


End file.
